Penis eating, war for oil and the mighty Red Sox

A couple of quick things and then I have to hunker under the covers some more because my imaginary illness Fibromyalgia is trying to kill me.  So we'll call this a WTF Friday Five..a day late.  And it might be Friday Six.  I DON'T NEED YOUR RULES, Y'ALL.

1.  WTF is up with men wanting to chop off their penises (penii?) and then cook it up and either eat it themselves or serve it up to other people? One dude charged people a whopping $250 dollars to eat his no-longer-in-service-little-general.
2.  WTF is up with gas prices?  They dropped like $0.10 around here right after King Obama* dropped bombs in the general vicinity of the Middle East.  When Bush did it was that we were going to war "for oil".  I have yet to hear someone accuse Obama of that.
3.  WTF is up with little shitheads drug addicted bastahds finding ways to abuse non-narcotic pain medication to the point the FDA steps in, rules it a controlled substance and people like myself and fibro-warriors all over the country can no longer get their hands on a medication that is generally ruled extremely helpful for helping to keep your body from feeling like it's going to kill you?**
4.  I may have to go back to #1 for a minute.  That one really puzzles me.
5.  WTF is up with sports reporters claiming the Sox/Yankees rivalry is "dormant"?  I called my mama a dirty Yankee lovah, just last week.
6.  WTF is up with Ray Donovan?  Did y'all see the season finale?  OH EM GEE Y'ALL.

*My reference to King Obama and politics solely represent MY opinions, not those of the entire Sistahood.
**I don't want to hear one single person rant at me about the disease of addiction.  Shut your pie hole.  Also, do not DARE lecture me for one second on dietary changes, exercise, or herbs.