After that he was expecting to sit around and do some reading.. last I knew he was helping a "friend" move. I have heard from him precisely 3 times.. if you count a text good night as one.. in the last week. Now I don't have any really "close" friends locally here, so I am seriously ALONE. I have no one to talk to about my issues, my problems and I am an emotional mess. You know what I am sure he doesn't give a shit because who knows what or whom he's doing out there that is more important than his friendship with me. WTF do I do with myself?
I am a good person being used by people who take advantage of people like me. It's a hard lesson to learn, I mean over and over again I feel like a fool, but then I get taken for a ride again and it happens again. You would think I'd NEVER drop my walls again, but then I meet that person who just clicks with me and BANG I come to trust them and what happens? I bring down my guard and over time they see my vulnerabilities and they are able to sneak under the radar and here I end up again hurt and miserable.
What is fucking wrong with these people??I have so little joy, why take what little I do have away? What have I done to deserve this other than want to help people and make them happy? When do I get my time in the sunshine and bask in its rays?
Ya know I've only said this once in my life, but ya know what the hell.. FML!!!