Maniac Monday - My story

I'm going to do a part 2 here on what Carrie had to say because I've been dealing with my own issues regarding pain medication and pain disorders.  I have two pain disorders (no they are not my children, hah): migraines and Fibromyalgia.  I take Topamax as a preventative for my migraines and Fioricet for when they get real bad.  It works relatively well.  I went from 4 migraine days a week down to about 4 a month.  Not perfection, but a vast improvement.  About once every 2-3 months I have to go in for the super shot of Dilaudid and Phenagran.

But that's not what I'm here to talk about.  My Fibromyalgia pain went largely untreated for a long time because I didn't have a diagnosis.  I just had pain.  A lot of it.  All over the place.  Most mornings I woke up feeling like I'd gone toe to toe with Milan Lucic.  My entire body felt bruised.  I get sharp pins and needles pain in my hands and feet and some days, frankly, they just don't quite work right.  The only relief for that particular pain is to wrap my hands in hot wash cloths.  I also have a few spots on my body (my hips, the top 6" or so of my spine, my collarbones) that hurt if you even look at them the wrong way and, forget about it if you have a 3 year old hanging off your back.  I have more bad days than good.  My arthritis doctor suggested a muscle relaxer for a better sleep pattern (which is a little ridiculous considering my sleep patterns are interrupted by anxiety and nightmares, not pain) and that I continue my yoga.  Which I do, to the best of my ability.  Then he referred me back to my GP for treatment.  My GP and I spend a lot of time together between my two kids, my breathing issues, my migraines and of course all that girl trouble I used to have before I had fahkin' leftie removed.  He knows I walked around with a broken elbow for 3 days once and I'm no light-weight about pain.  He referred me to the pain clinic back at the end of August.  They can't see me until January. Let me repeat that.  They can't see me until January.  The medication I take for anxiety is one of the medications prescribed to control Fibromyalgia so I can't get on something like Cymbalta too.  So my doctor prescribes Tramadol to treat the worst of the pain.  Now, let me be clear.  Tramadol is prescribed for long-term, chronic pain because it is a non-narcotic.  It's considered low-risk for addiction and it doesn't make any muthafuckah I know loopy, woozy or "high" by any stretch of anyone's imagination.

However, some little fahking shithead somewhere experimental types must've figured out, I'm guessing here, that if you take about 30 of them and melt them down and shoot them up you can get some kind of high.  Because now the federal government considers it a Class IV Controlled Substance.  So what this means for people like me who take it legitimately, as prescribed and without abuse, is that it is now a real son of a bitch to get.  I've been (extremely painfully) jumping through bureaucratic hoops for the last 4 days trying to get mine filled.  Between the bureaucracy and the absolute worst customer service I have ever experienced at Wal-Mart, I have never felt more like a criminal in my life.  Today I had enough of being treated like some kind of felon instead of a single mom who has a rough and tumble toddler and a legitimate, diagnosed pain disorder, and a legitimate prescription and I broke down crying.  FYI, the only reason I was having the prescription filled at Wal-Mart in the first place is because it was being filled on a Sunday and they were the only place in town open on Sunday.  I gave up on them and, sobbing, called the local pharmacy who knows me and knows exactly what I deal with and would never ever dream of treating me or anyone else like a criminal or a felon or a drug addict mom.  They offered to call the other pharmacy for me, transfer the prescription back and oh hey, while they were at it, lodge a complaint for me about their customer service.

So what I'm saying is this:  Yes, prescription drug abuse is an epidemic and a legitimate problem.  But I bet most of you never even stop to think about who else it's a gigantic fahking problem for...people like Carrie and myself who live daily in constant pain...people who take their medication (in my case it's a fahking non-narcotic) responsibly and only to control their pain.  So thanks assholes, I know Carrie and I salute you in your choices to abuse medication that people with real problems need  just to have a normal life.  The two of us deserve it and because of shitheads like you, it's becoming increasingly harder just to get through the days without pain.