1 month ago today...

Well where to start on September 18th at 3:56 pm I lost my champion. My dog Scout has to be the first dog who's caused me as much pain losing as if he was a human. We had one heck of a bond.

We did AKC agility runs. We'd go up to the Syracuse show we only did it twice but we got ribbons for both. The first time 2 yellow and the second time 2 blue. That was the year I had to give up agility. I missed it and I know he did too.

He has been going down hill slowly. I know he had arthritis he got that Sheltie skin condition and well it was getting worse.. by the time I took him in his muscle in his back legs were gone... he was just wasting away and I couldn't stand to see him like that anymore. ( I'm getting all teary eyed just thinking about it) So I made the most difficult decision of my life, I had to put him down. I've never had to make that choice but it was for the best I know it was. I spent a good 45 min with him.

They gave him the muscle relaxer first. Then put in the catheter in so they could administer the medication. When they did they apparently pressed his paw prints into the attached photo.. so I have his paw prints so I can always have them. (again getting teary eyed)

I haven't written about this before now because I just didn't want to go through the feelings all over again, I figured it would be easier with time but it's not really any better.

I don't know if it would have been any easier letting him suffer and die on his own, but I know I did the right thing.

The final photo is one of the last photos I took of him, this one is my favorite because it makes me just want to run my finger up and down his nose like I used to. This was the 45 min we got to spend together before they put him to sleep. When he was still conscious and I could look into his eyes and he knew I was there with him.  (now crying)

I miss him so much! I was looking at his photo I have of him at work the other day and I thought "can't wait to go home and see him" for a split second I forgot he was gone. It was a sobering reminder of how much you need to appreciate what you have because at any time you can lose it.