Friday, September 5, 2014

The NFL, Wes Welk-uh and "the bright guys"

I shouldn't have been surprised when it happened.  I mean really, I come from a long line of sports fans.  Many a Sunday night's slumber was disturbed by my mom swooning "I LOVE YOU JOE" (Montana, not Biden).  My dad watches literally every single sport, yes, even curling, (word up,Canada, thanks for the beer!).  So it had to come around to me eventually, right?  I mean even if I didn't want to, I knew all the rules, most of the players and an alarming number of statistics right up there in my little ole brain.  I was a hockey fan from way back (I need some blood in my sporting, thank ya very much, I'm Irish, the more blood the bettah).  But then we moved to this cornhusker-lovin state and I became a college football fan (Go Big Red, bitches!).  No harm, no foul, college football has integrity, y'all.  They're not in it for the all that free tuition  money!  They're in it because they love the game (except those bastard Sooners, who are only in it because they have gigantic egos, but I digress).

sigh But then it happened.  I fell in love with a true-blood-sports-lovin' Boston boy.  Red Sox?  Check.  Bruins? (I was already a fan sooo we'll go with) CHECK CHECK.  Patriots? (groan) Check.  Celtics?  Dear gawd, yah're killin me, Check.  But see his adoration and his love for the games is kind of contagious.  One date night while he was visiting we watched the ESPN movie 4 Days In October and I realized I had devoted an hour or so to watching a movie...ABOUT baseball.  I wasn't even just watching baseball anymore, I was watching a movie about baseball.  Clearly something had to be done!  But then he had Wes Welker on his fantasy team...and there was just somethin about the way that Boston accent yelled Wes Welk-uh that made me all tingly in my lady bits!  Our family picked it up.  The 3-year-old-Hockey-Enforcer still believes that's just what football players are called.  During Husker games he yells GO WES WELK-UH!

So fast forward to last night.  It's late on Thursday night for us two totally young and spry lovers old folks and he says "do you want to watch something Buttahcup?  Should we just go to bed? (note: It's 8 p.m. my time and I have not totally ruled out bed)".  I said eh,  you keep watching the game and I'll see if I'm getting it on any of my 4, sometimes 6 channels.  So we settle in to watch the game.  Wes Welk-uh (who is sadly, no longer with the Pats) is not playing.  Neither are the Patriots.  It's a team I've designated "the bright guys" and ... those other guys.  But, Boston's got Marshawn Lynch on his fantasy team and every time he makes a play, my beloved, and seriously manly man squeals in true fan-girl fashion: "MARSHAWN LYNCH MUTHAFUCKAS" and I erupt in giggles.  This prohibits any sleeping.  As does the player who is, hilariously, named "HaHa ClintonDix".  This makes me laugh for approximately eleventy hours and every time I've typed it today, or texted it today, or thought about it today I've erupted in giggles.  Oh I didn't fall asleep watching the game, like I thought I would do, but I did spend the night giggling and perfecting my own "MARSHAWN LYNCH" squeal.

...And also vetoing it as a name for any of our future children.  You *ARE* welcome, future son!

No comments:

Post a Comment