Friday, September 19, 2014

Blogging on the fly...

I am having issues adjusting to this blogging thing. I know I need to contribute but some days I don't know what to say. OK- many days. It is 2:30 in the morning and I am up because I cannot sleep in the amount of pain that I am in. We are getting what remains of tropical weather combined with other stuff and it aggravates my Fibromyalgia and my degenerative disk disease that stems from an injury in the Air Force 18 years ago. I want to blog something positive rather than this but I honestly have nothing for you. So, instead I am blogging honesty. I really want to quit on days like today. Not as in suicide or anything like that. I wouldn't do that to my loved ones. But some days I lie in bed balled up as tight as possible wishing that I could fade away until the pain stops. I am actually very proud of myself today. I got my children off to school, got them picked up, fed them, got their hair cut, grocery shopped, & got the school paperwork done. This is rather impressive seeing as we spent most of the day wondering if we were going to need an ark. I have to give credit to my sister for driving since I have a small car that is low to the ground. She kept me going today. Once I stopped though I was in excruciating pain and it has not let up much. So that brings me here with you at 3AM- cue Matchbox 20 song. I suppose I could blog about how Fibromyalgia is real. It is. I think that it would be a waste of my time and energy though. Either you have it or you know someone who does and this post makes perfect sense. You might be in the group of people who think it is all in our heads. If you are then I suggest you sod off. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Some days my hair hurts and my partner is afraid that rubbing my back might make me cry. My youngest son is super cuddly and sensitive so I must either gently redirect his attention or suffer so that he isn't hurt when I cannot handle cuddling. So, I won't bore you with the thousands of fahked up ways that Fibromyalgia can affect us. I will simply ask you to listen to your loved ones and try to be patient with us. We hate this ugly thing as much as you do and would give most anything to be normal.

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