Sunday, August 31, 2014

Too Old...

Too Old

There’s nothing worse than getting the chance to do something that you used to love, just to realize, not only is it not really fun anymore, but damnit……I’m too freaking old to go cruising! When did 12 year olds start driving? And how the hell do all these little kids have such nice ass cars??? I mean seriously! I looked really hot tonight, I was in a shitty mood, and I just wanted one or two guys to flirt with me while driving down the main “cruise” with 4 kids in the car. Is that so much to ask?! Geez. But only one guy even looked, he smiled, probably laughing, because he was the same age as my daughter!!! WTF!? That was a fail. Won’t do that again, well maybe, I mean, someone has to teach the girls the rules of cruising when they get older right?? Haha….wow, that even sounded sad to me.
So I just had to get that off my chest. I told you all about my kids in the last post, and guess I didn’t get the memo that the post was supposed to be short. Well I don’t really do short. Once I start talking, I tend to keep  talking…. for a long time. Just how I am. I like to talk. I don’t do well with secrets because I usually tell someone, then eventually everyone, to the point, well it’s not really a secret anymore. My secrets anyway. I’m good at keeping other people’s secrets. I’m good at listening too, which is weird, because I have to actually shut up to do that, but I do, when it matters. I love to give advice too. I give great advice. Which again is weird, because I can’t seem to take my own advice, which would be awesome, but it seems the best advice givers I know, have totally wacky lives, because they tend to have the same issue as I do. I can fix anyone else's life, just can’t seem to get mine in order.
Ok, now about my stats I guess. I’m a single mom of 5. Yes all those joys I told you about are my responsibility, and mine alone. I managed to meet, fall in love with, and breed, with 2 of the most pathetic losers around. Well, the first, daddy of the fist 4, wasn’t that pathetic when I met him. Weird, yes. But he took care of his responsibilities up until the point that I gave him 4 beautiful, healthy children….then he discovered the wonderful drug called Meth. Long story short, I left him, he swore to get his life straight to win us back, and has lived under a bridge, doing drugs, and who knows what else to get those drugs, ever since. Daddy number 2, sperm donor to the baby, was a lot of fun. But once responsibility hit, he turned out to be more worthless than even I could imagine possible. Not to mention he was having a lot more fun than I was, with half the skanks in Albuquerque, the ENTIRE four years we were together. So yeah….I have 5 amazing kids, that I don’t have to share with anyone, and this could be a good thing, or a really shitty thing, depending on how you look at it. I choose to look at it as a good thing, that way I don’t get suicidal on a daily.  Makes for a hard life indeed, but it’s the hand I’ve been dealt, and I like to win, so I do the best I can.
One more little fact I need to let you all know, just so you can get a better understanding of me, and hopefully enjoy this a little more, is that I was fat….my whole life. Then I had kids, and got fatter. Then…..I got divorced, and lost all kinds of weight, and became super hot. I guess being not so much your entire life, then suddenly being a sexy beast, makes your head swell, like a lot. So I’m totally full of myself, and not one bit ashamed of admitting it. I take advantage sometimes of what my looks can get me, but mostly just bask in the all the attention I so craved when I was younger. So if you think I come off as conceited every now and then, well, you’re right. Just thought I would throw that out there.
Gonna go drink me some rum, and watch a movie that the kids should probably not be watching, with the kids. Good night blogger world.


  1. Remember the night we drank too much rum and red koolaid and danced all crazy like to the Gin Blossoms song (maybe we should've been drinking gin) at the end of Empire Records. I love ya like crazy.

  2. I do!! And think of that every time I hear that song!! Good times, good times! Love you too!