Tuesday, March 31, 2015

My Uranium-Enriched-Esophagus

I promised all y'all that I would let you know what was up with the biopsy reports.  So, here goes:

A) Nothing fatal.  For cripes sake you would've thought the nurse could've said "oh hey, yo, you are not in fact dying."  But no.
2) Being freaking ridiculous (or "fridiculous", if you will) I do have 2 really weird things going on and 1 thing that appears to have resolved itself but could have been the reason these shenanigans kicked themselves off.  First of all, it appears that at one time I had something that kind of ate a hole like thing in my stomach?  I wasn't entirely clear on that.  Can that happen?  That you can just have a hole in your stomach and then when the gastritis goes away, you're left with the hole and suddenly all is good in Digestion Land again?  I don't freaking know.  He said it was a "resolved issue" so I really quit listening.  So then onto the real issues.  I have something eating a hole in my esophagus they think.  I love when a doc says "I think".  My stepdad always says "that's why they call it practicing medicine sweetie".  So I'm on a ridiculous regimen of medications to soothe my stupid fucking digestive system my esophagus.  I am not joking, that is how he put it.  My esophagus needs soothing.  Should I start talking to it?  Playing the flute for it?  Sing it lullabies?  Knit it something?  I don't know.  Anyway, I take these medications to soothe my, evidently quite angry, esophagus.  Then we check out phase two.  Phase two is where they think (again with that word "think") that I have this condition (which the doctor had to look up, always good when you tell your patients "I had no idea what this was") where some of the cells in my very stabby   esophagus react as if I'm allergic to everything I put down there, causing my super shooty digestive system to thereby reject everything.  Hence the super awesome but totally unhealthy rapid weight loss.  That condition needs to be treated with steroids.  Well, now, "WHY ERI, why can't the just treat both conditions at once?", I hear you asking.  Well I asked the good doctor the same thing and he said that the steroids could make the uranium enriched porcupine of an  esophagus even angrier.  You know, 'Roid Rage for the already incredibly bitey esophagus.  So, there you go. All you need to know about my digestive system, AND MORE!

But, there is good news around here!  This particular doctor prescribed something I've been trying to get prescribed for my Fibromyalgia for a long time.  It's not a narcotic and it's gotten mixed reviews from Fibro patients but I at least wanted to give it a try.  The first couple of days were a little wonky.  I described it as being the good part of half drunk.  But I acclimated to it after a couple of days and the only thing I can really say about it is that it has made me feel like myself again.  I don't sleep all day.  I don't feel exhausted every single second of every day.  My joints and muscles are looser, making it possible for me to be more active, which is good for Fibro itself.  I've been able to get back into walking and jogging.  I want to say I feel like a whole new person, but the truth is that I just feel like me.  And I am a freaking delight!  It's been such a relief to sleep and to not be in constant, constant pain.   Which is good because school kicks back up tomorrow and I'm taking my heaviest course load yet.  The only thing left on the health horizon is to get my full thyroid panel.  I actually feel pretty good about finally having some answers.

I really want to say thanks to all of you who have stood by me.  A few names to toss out but I'm sure I'll miss some people.  So I'm sorry in advance!  But, to Nathan & Joshie Mark, Mom & Mark, Boston, Carrie, Jen, Vicki, Jessie, David, Marie, Mike and every single other soul who has said a prayer or sent good vibes, y'all are amazing.  Thanks for sticking with me.  Love to all of you.

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