Monday, March 9, 2015
What hurts the most...
It seems like everywhere I look these days, one of my girls is suffering one tragedy or another. As y'all know, we went through our own trauma with Joshua Mark and a horrible monster. Well this weekend another of our girls, one of the Sistahs, a half of my heart that I didn't know was missing until I found her, my kids beloved Auntie Carrie BoBeary suffered a terrible and tragic loss. A kind and loving man who had stepped up and filled the role of father for her after her own "dad" had left her feeling helpless and abandoned, a wonderful man who loved her like his own daughter, this angel on Earth, well, he went to be an angel in Heaven this past weekend. He was suffering and in pain and so there is that always conflicting sense of relief that at least he no longer hurts. But there is also that horrible suffering and pain that my Sister is feeling...the one that says she will never get to be hugged by him again, the one that says he won't be able to attend the ceremony where she and her hubby renew their vows, he won't be there when the kids graduate school. He won't be there when she graduates school and begins her career as a
full time SuperHero social worker. I always believe that God puts us through trials when he thinks we can handle them. The horrific trauma my family and I have been through? Well that's largely wrapped up, as best as it can be, for the time being. I'm starting to feel the strength of my own two feet beneath me again, instead of feeling like I'm free-falling into a tunnel of darkness with monsters lurking everywhere, desperately clawing to get my kids from me. I believe God took Jim when he did so that I would be able to be strong for my Sister now. So I'm going to lift her up, hold her up, stubbornly pull her ass out of that darkness every chance I get. Because I can. And because that's what sisters do. God bless Jim and his family during this trying time. If you have spare prayers to send right now, please send them to his amazing family who took care of my girl so well and helped her learn to love a family of choice. Without that knowledge, she might not have been able to accept my family as hers and then WE would truly be lost.