Thursday, August 6, 2015

So, I married an Atheist


I have blogged on this before and if you know me you have heard it before. However, I still get these outlandish questions about the subject so I am going to do it again.

Let me start by saying that I am a Theist. I believe in God. I take my relationship with God pretty seriously but I also keep it very personal. My story, my journey to cementing my faith, is my own. I could try to explain it to you over and over again but it would sound ordinary rather than extraordinary as it is to me.

In the early 1990's, after being in the same schools from 4th grade on, I met Razark. We were sophomores in high school at this point and shared a class. We became the best of friends there and were kind of inseparable until he went away to college.

His beliefs were never called into question because he was my friend and obviously a good person.

Time marches on... I went to his wedding. We went our separate ways for a while and began to build lives until ours intersected again. I was visiting the day he received his final divorce papers in fact.

We decided to give this love thing a go. We got married and had a couple kids to add to the couple of kids he had.  Still it never came up about declaring our religion.  We both wanted a casual wedding ceremony and I didn't want it in a courthouse. He just didn't want to have to wear a tie.

It really never came up until we were asked about baptizing the kids. Amazingly, my Atheist husband agreed to go through the hoops if that was what I wanted to do.

Sept. 6, 2015 marks 12 years of marriage for us. People ask how I do it all the time. I live. I married the man I love, my best friend, and he is a good person. He doesn't believe in God. It doesn't affect me really. It has no real bearing on my relationship with God unless I let it. I don't.

So here are the answers to the most frequently asked questions (& a few outlandish questions) published on the interwebz forever.

1) Does he beat me?
-No. In fact, I think he is a tad scared of what my temper would be if he tried.

2) Is he a Satanist?
-No. He is an Atheist. He doesn't believe in Satan. He doesn't believe in heaven or hell either.

3) Does he have a alter? Or Does he have a place to worship?
-No. He is an Atheist. He doesn't believe in God. He doesn't worship. The closest he came to bliss was a dedicated home brew closet once.

4) Does he eat babies?
- Technically, yes but not human ones. We have had veal before though.

5) Am I sad that he won't be in heaven with me?
- Not to be rude, but have you met my husband? By then, if I am still sane, I will welcome the break. :-)
Note- someone I love very much asked that one. I really don't think about it much. I would rather live in the moment. The past is somewhat mixed emotionally for me and well, passed. The future is bright but still uncertain. All we really have for sure is right now so make it count.

If you have any questions, I am always open to answering them.

The main takeaway today is that Atheists are people just like you and I. They have families, jobs, homes, dreams, hopes, and love. My husband has a solid moral foundation. He is a great guy with a heart of gold. He is loving, loyal, hard working, and he has a killer sense of humor. We have our issues (that have nothing to do with his Atheism) just like Theist couples but I am proud to be his wife.


  1. This made me crack up. Mostly because I too was married to an Atheist. And he was kind of a dick about it.

  2. I love this, because 1) it is raw and real, 2) because sisters, and 3) because other people can be ridiculous when they don't understand things.