Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Screw it all, man, we're throwin all the rules out 'round here. I don't feel good, Carrie's stressed about school and half my other girls are in some sort of crisis or lifetime ecstasy (go Jen, we're always with ya, Babe). I lost a friend this week. I'd known the girl since high school. Funny story (not HAHA funny, I assure you), she was the first person on the scene of my brutal 1998 car accident. I can still hear her voice as she told my mom, can hear my mom's scream through the phone and my mom screaming "you have to talk to my husband" and her calmly, reassuringly telling my Dad what had happened. And she could be like that. The sweetest person you would ever meet, and *always* the kind of girl who would go the mat fighting for you. Still, it was the right call to make. I won't get into the details because that's not fair, she's not here to tell her side. I'll just say that she was engaging in behavior I couldn't get behind, not for me and not for the friends I'd brought to her table. See, I take friendship, especially with women, seriously. Women are precious creatures when you find the right ones. The ones who won't tear you down so they can feel better than you. The ones who won't make drama just so they can look smarter, prettier or in any way more superior than you. Girls who fake it until they don't ever make it, but actually work to make it. Those are my tribe. That's what you get from my sistahood. I hand-picked my friends after I realized I was the landing place for every sad-story-tale-let-me-take-my-misery-out-on-you-drama-queen.
I'm older now, I guess, less time for drama and bullshit. But I can look back now and pinponit it along a time-line, every single friendship mistake, every girl my (very wise) Jersey Mama warned me about, that I foolishly stumbled into. But, as my adopted other mama said to me once (hi Mama Janet!), I've done a good job raising the little girl in me and I'm not going to put up with little girls who want to crush me, when I can stand strong with women who want to fight with me.