Sunday, February 22, 2015

Keep on keepin' him

So, hi, long time no see.  A little personal note before I rant and rave about how much I love this song.  My family is going through an extremely personal but extremely traumatic tragedy right now. My boys are both safe, now, and my ex-husband and I are on a long road to friendship.  There are other people involved in this who will not ever be named on a public form like this (at least not by me).  But we are under the extraordinary weight of a criminal trial and meetings with county attorneys and all that icky stuff two really good parents like my ex-husband and I shouldn't have to deal with.  But we're holding on, drawing tight and gettin' through.  To that end, my family and my little boys, especially, need every prayer, healing vibe, positive energy, every single positive thing you can send their way, I would appreciate it.  They're in a shrouded, sheltered place right now being basically smothered in love but oi, mama's worry, y'know?

Additionally, I have been dealing with some major health issues (I know you're LOL'ing right now, right? WTF Eri, when AREN'T you?  Believe me, yo, I feel you).  They're not sure if it's my gall bladder or an ulcer but it's likely one of those two.  So we schedule lots of appointments and we wait.  Right now we wait.  The only reason I would ever ask anyone to pray for me is so I can be here and be strong for my boys.  So if y'all could....I promise to return the favor (email me or leave your prayer requests in the comment box).

Now, all the serious stuff is over, how fahking fantastic is this song?  I mean really...If you take out all that b.s. about looking for another girl, you have a perfect image of what it's like to be in a long-distance-love (including the stuff about heartbreak, it's heartbreaking not to have Boston near me).  I see him everywhere.  I see him in my home, standing at the stove boiling hot dogs (which prompted me to have a cow), sitting next to me and Stomp on the couch watching tv, his arm always around me, pulling me so close to him.  I see him playing "high feet" with Joshie.  I smell him still sometimes in just the right twist of a scent on my sheets or my towels.  I see him waiting for me in our bed, our conspiracy theory talk radio all queued up for us to listen to before we fall asleep, almost always with my cheek pressed to the cool skin between his shoulder blades. I see him getting up and bringing me a cup of tea every morning, sometimes feeding me chocolate cake.  I wonder if perhaps it would be easier if he hadn't spent so many days living this life with me?  Probably not.  Long distance love is just a beast.  It requires the utmost faith in another human being.  It requires a connection and a commitment no one else can understand.  He calls when he says he will and if something has held him up, he always texts to let me know he'll be late.  But still, I see him, everywhere I go, I see him.


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