Sunday, August 31, 2014

My novel of an introduction....... in full.

Jen's Full Introduction......

The majority of this post was already posted on our introduction page, however a large portion of it was cut off due to the fact that I didn't realize this was just supposed to be a short and sweet intro. So I am re-posting this in it's entirety just in case you were interested in the rest of my GINORMOUS introduction. Thank you for reading!

So the assignment tonight is to tell you 5 things about myself that you don’t already know. Well seeing as you know absolutely nothing about me, this could be really fun! Lets see……Number 1)I absolutely hate green bell peppers (and orange and yellow and red ones too, but green seems to be the most popular). 2) My favorite colors are pink, because I’m really girlie at times, and well, that just seems to be the most girlie color. Then green, for lots of reasons. Most people will say because of money, or pot…yeah I used to hang out with a lot of pot smoking dumbasses. But I don’t smoke weed, and aside from the fact that I have to have money to survive, I hate it. I love trees, and grass, and that creeping ivy that grows up old houses, and green gems, and green cars even. I just love green, I think because so many beautiful living things are green. 3) I have a brand new to me (1999) Toyota Camry, that got slammed into a month to the day after buying it about 3 months ago, that I absolutely freaking LOVE! 4) I tend to make friends with really weird people, that most people in my life don’t really like, and I’m constantly defending my friendships with, but I love these people and will do anything in my power to make sure that they are taken care of, regardless of what anyone else around me thinks of them, or me for that matter for being friends with them. 5) I fart….a lot, and I don’t really care that I’m a total girlie girl, and that girls aren’t supposed to do that.

            Ok now that we have gotten that out of the way……I guarantee that you don’t know anything about me because of those 5 things. So even though I technically did the assignment, I think you all in internet blog world deserve to know 5 things about me that might actually tell you a little bit about who really I am.

1.) For some reason, the first thing I always think of when I am describing myself is my kids. They are who I am. They are the biggest part of my life, and it just makes sense to start off with them. I am not going to tell you their real names, so I have come up with some clever nicknames for each of them, and will refer to them as such as we journey along. My oldest is a 15 year old girl. I love her, I adore her, I am so proud to be able to call her my daughter…..oh wait. No that was before she became a teenager. We will call her E.T. Not because she is from another planet, but because once she turned 13, she turned from the most sweet, lovable, adoring little girl, into a fire breathing, back talking, moody, smartass EVIL TEENAGER! Hence E.T. She started high school this year, which makes her just that much more evil, I mean really, when the hell did I get old enough to have a kid in high school!!??? Granted it’s not her fault, but shit, this is my blog, and I’m blaming her damnit! So that’s the first one….much more about her to come I promise, because this girl is gonna give me SO much material….I really should be paying her.

2.) Next in line is Martha Stewart. She will be 12 in a couple weeks, and I call her Martha Stewart because when it comes to doing ALL the things I never could (or frankly even wanted to do), this girl does it, enjoys it, and excels at it.”It” being ANY FREAKING THING she wants to do, from painting, to sewing, making sushi, cooking, cleaning, taking care of her siblings, you name it, this girl does it. If she doesn’t know how to do it, well give her an hour on YouTube and she will be better at it than anyone trying to teach you on the internet. She is absolutely amazing at pretty much any domestic duty you can imagine. Martha is creative, beautiful, and extremely humble about every bit of it. Not only that, but she has promised on several occasions that she will not turn evil when she becomes a teenager……..this is yet to be seen, as I have explained that this transformation is not always voluntary.

 3.) Link is 9, and up until a year ago, was my only boy. The only boy in a house full of girls has not made him the most macho of young men. He is very reliant on his sister’s for pretty much everything. The girls coddle him, and cater to his wishes and demands, but mostly because that’s the only way to get him to be quiet. Don’t get me wrong, he is very smart, smart enough to figure out how to do absolutely nothing for himself and get away with it. He is obsessed with video games, mainly The Legend of Zelda, and is constantly telling people he doesn’t know, that his name is Link. He hates school, and is just as lazy there as he is at home, but again, has perfected the art of making everyone do everything for him. He is also more stubborn than any person I have met, which means he gets a lot of stuff over on his teachers too, because he never caves….EVER! Teachers always cave eventually. This is how I know he isn’t dumb, or slow even. Just lazy, and puts all of his effort into being that way. He eventually wants to be a mechanic, which I can’t wait for, because I need a good mechanic!!

4.) Number 4 is my baby girl.  She’s only 8, and as of a year ago, not the baby anymore, but  I will never convince her of that.  I know she will be a cheerleader once she gets into high school, whether I support that decision or not, because she has that peppy, valley girl, upbeat cheery personality. She is my “popular” kid. She makes friends with everyone she encounters, (including stray animals, much to my dismay), she is so happy all the time, but yet she gets her feelings hurt really easily. She lights up any room she walks into, and always has a smile on her face. Because she was the baby for so long, she talks baby talk a lot, still requires lots and lots of mama snuggles, and is extremely disappointed that she no longer has her “baby skin.” She is very smart, loves school, is always the “teacher’s pet,? Doesn’t argue too much when you ask her to do chores, although conveniently forgets that you asked on a regular basis. She is a pretty typical 3rd grader. She is so full of love, and as loyal as they come. She will always be my “baby girl.”

5.) Now the baby. “Bubbas”, is and will probably always be his name. I was actually shocked when someone called him by his first name the other day and he responded. I’m not really sure who actually calls him that.

            Now according to ET, Bubba's completely ruined the dynamic of our family, and she has not held, talked to or really even acknowledged him since he was born, which was a year ago, in case you didn’t catch that the two previous times I have mentioned it. She is not fond of his dad, ok so fond is way too weak of a word, but you get the point. He was a woops baby, and she hasn’t gotten over that, or the fact that, more than likely I will not be getting back together with her dad.

            So yeah, he has a different “baby daddy” who is in his life I guess technically. Meaning he sees him about once a week when Bubba's auntie watches him on Sunday’s and takes him up to see his Gamma Gamma and his dad, who yes, lives with his Mama. But “daddy” got fired from his job shortly after I left his worthless cheating ass, and just before I could get the child support order filed. Hence…..the worthless part.

            He is an absolutely amazing little boy. I cried when I found out I was pregnant because I had just gotten the other 4 to be self sufficient, and found out I get to start all over again. However, I wouldn’t give him back for a million bucks! Ten million………………well we would have to at least work out some sort of visitation.

So those are my 5 things…….I actually have 2 more “step” things, that I will give lots more detail about later, but I’m sure I’m over my limit as to how long this “quick” introduction was supposed to be, but you can’t just describe your kids in 40 words or less, so yeah. I will try to make the next post shorter….oh who am I kidding?! If you want to read my blog, just be prepared for a short novel most of the time.

Thank you to all who took the time to read this. I have never actually done this before and I am looking forward to a fun ride! I can’t wait to be a part of the traveling Chucks, and quite honestly get to know the other “don’t give a chuckers.” Thank you Eri for giving me this opportunity, and I anxiously await our next posting. This is gonna be fun, and hey, I love to talk about myself, so if you actually want to read about me, even better!!!

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