Oh my aim is deadly...

Until someone listens to me, I'm not going to stop saying it:  Little Big Town is the most underrated band in country music.  Amen.

needs as opposed to wants....

Yes, yes... they say dream BIG or go home.
But with a BIG credit card costs you could lose your home!

But, you really need to keep the costs of things in check.

Once Kevin and  I get our house, he really wants to get a full dining room set, and also new beds for every bedroom... which would be pricy. Why do into more debt when you are already spending that much on a house!?

Now if it was part of the loan maybe.... but the last thing I want to do is rack up a bunch of credit card bills to have all new furniture in a house we just bought. I don't know if that's even crossed his mind. I just got rid of a huge amount of money due to the bankruptcy and now he wants me to have more? We will really need to talk about that. Also the house is going in his name only.... I unfortunately already have mine on two loans on the house I currently live in.

I don't think he's seeing the big picture I don't want to work for the rest of my life so I can have pretty things in my house that I can't enjoy.

It's such a BIG issue, you want it but you don't need it to live. All I've ever wanted is a home that I felt was beautiful with matching furniture, not this hodgepodge of stuff... which seems to be Kevin's dream too, but he's like older than me and when he dies I am left with those HUGE bills! He really needs to think ahead, I don't make 22+ dollars an hour like he does. *sigh*

Such a downer when I have to think logically aren't I? :)

Before you judge... Think

So, I went in to Kroger at 6am this morning to get milk and bread. And maybe overpriced coffee but that isn't pertinent. Anyway, I needed milk for dinner and I wasn't sleeping so I decided to go and avoid people.

Now, I was not really dressed for people. I had on a long, long skirt, a tank top, slipper socks, and ridiculously blingy BOB shoes. Walking out the door, I noticed the cold front was coming in so I grabbed this insane scarf thing with pockets that I got for Christmas. It is soft and really warm, plus it is 6am on a Saturday morning. I was going to the store for less than 5 things. Who shops at 6am on Saturday morning in a small town?

I encountered in the produce section a middle aged lady in her workout gear eyeing me. She asked under her breath what I could have been thinking this morning. I smiled and walked away but here is what I wish I had said. In fact, I wish more of us said things just like this.

Well Ms. Fitness, you have a few options to choose from:

1. I am a crazy, spunky person with my own fashion sense.

2. My fashionista nephew dressed me while sitting nekkid in his Mom's closet among the undisclosed number of Chuck Taylor's that she has.

3. I have a mental health condition and I don't do well in crowds. My outfit allows me to repel unwanted interactions. OR this scarf like thing is a security object that brings me comfort allowing me limited outings.

4. I had abdominal surgery a few weeks ago and cannot tolerate things on my belly. This skirt allows me, being fun sized, to pull it up like Urkel (Google it young ones) and achieve some level of comfort. My belly has been hurting 18 of the last 24 hours and my clothing options are limited. I am here at 6 am to comfortably get necessities before going home, eating pain killers, and crawling onto the only freaking comfortable place in my house to try again to sleep before my family gets up.

You are going to think which ever one you want despite it being number 4. I really don't care what you think. What I hope to accomplish by putting this blog up is that if you are in Ms. Fitness' shoes you will think and not judge. We see the external things but there is often no way to really know what is going on internally. You don't know my story and I don't know yours. We are all fighting our own battles. We have our own set of insecurities and challenges. It costs you nothing to be kind. If you are overcome with curiosity, try asking instead of assuming.

Happy Sunday everyone. Sorry about the extended absence but I am graduating in May and I have an enormous amount of work ahead of me.

Strange, I noticed this today....

OMG, did you see that? When did that sneak in here?

It's been dark in here for a long time and I think it's been so long that I didn't realize it was here. Was that.... hope? Was that a shimmer of a dream? What was it that just flew past me... was it something about the future?

When did I start dreaming again? Is that why I've been so different lately? What is causing this?

Well, glad you asked!

My work schedule is now 8:30am to 5pm which means no rushing to get out of bed.. no stress to start the day and if I don't get downstairs to eat breakfast until 7am it means I STILL have 45 min till I have to leave. (not having to stress as soon as I wake is has been nice!)

Sleep, it's a glorious thing. I can hit my alarm for half an hour and still be okay it's a GREAT feeling. Could it seriously been this simple? I seem to be in a better mood and much happier at work... this remains to be seen since it's only been 3 days but positive thoughts here.