Sunday, November 22, 2015

what I'm scared of....

I'm scared of being home alone. But with the kids I have to be super careful they don't realize it. When it's cold outside and dark so early now if I am not inside away from the windows, I will notice it and my paranoia will kick in. I don't know how anyone can live by themselves, but I am not one of them.

Losing Kevin. I have lost 2 guys to my "supposed" female best friends and now I can't bare the thought of losing him. But the best think about losing them is first off realizing they never really loved me and secondly I would have never met Kevin.

Losing another pet I was so close to. It has been over a year and I still cry over my champion Scout. I think it's because I never had such a close bond to a pet in my life. He was one of the family and was treated as such all the time. I miss my cuddle buddy on the cold nights, I miss how he'd howl with me. *sigh*

Having one of my kids go missing. OMG, I've had nightmares about this many times, mostly about my youngest Sebastian. It almost came true at Darien Lake a few years ago when we lost sight of him... he had wandered off to watch the Viper, which he's obsessed with Roller Coasters. I was so upset, I never let him out of my sight ever again... he's 9 now but I won't let him out of my sight even now. (well obviously I don't follow him into the bathroom or to school, but you know what I mean!)

I really have a lot I am scared of, even as an adult. I have my fears, a few typical of a mother and others that are probably from the past.

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