They Made Me Partner

     Even as I write this, I am not completely sure what that means.  I have an idea, I have my bloated ego hopes, but I am not exactly sure how this is going to benefit my life in the long run aside from bragging rights. Sorry, I will back up for a second.

     I started working for this company about four months ago.  I had filled out tons of applications, perfected my resume, taken several classes, read more resume tips and tricks than I will ever remember.  I spent more than 12 hours a day EVERY day on this computer trying to find a job that would justify quitting the one I had.  Every day the guilt was building up.  Why didn't I just let it go.  It wasn't the first time someone completely ignored everything I had done, or decided to bypass my complete and utter devotion, and jump to the most obvious conclusion.  Not even the second or third time actually.  But I have evolved right?  I needed to stand up for myself, I needed to realize that my efforts were being wasted there.  I needed to stop spending so much time devoted to someone, something, that took me away from my family so much.  So I did, I left it all behind.  Yes, I took the cowardly way out.  I let a coworker know I would not be back.  I didn't have the guts to face my accuser.  I knew I was standing up for my own dignity, but I also knew that if I faced her, I would cry.  I hate crying in front of someone when I am trying to be dignified.  I can't be strong when I have been so hurt.  I hate that about myself.  I did nothing wrong, and I couldn't even muster up the courage to face her, couldn't tell her that face to face.  But I left, future unknown, security of my babies hanging in the balance.

    I opened an email my mom sent me about 3 weeks into this intense job search.  I could tell about half of it was bullshit scams.  But there was this one page that seemed legit.  Online freelance jobs.  So I signed up.  I filled out the profile page.  I entered my resume, added some examples of the awesome stuff I had done in my previous jobs.  I applied for a few jobs, then a few more, then a few more.  NOTHING.  It's not that I wasn't qualified, but I was competing against dozens of "freelancers" from other countries that underbid me by more than 50%.  How was I gonna compete with that.  I finally ended up landing a job for a compliance caller.  I was elated.  Then I realized every single person who applied, got hired.  Fine.  It's cool.  At least I will get a little bit of money this week.  So I did it, but I kept submitting proposals for various jobs.  Some were just short, quick jobs, others were long term, but it didn't matter.  I had read blogs about this, forums, help pages.  I mastered all skills required according to the world wide web.  Still.....nothing.  FUCK!

     It had been almost two months since I quit my job.  Savings was gone, even the miraculous discovery that child support had been paid, and collecting, well that was running out quick.  Then one night after a school event, I decided I needed a drink.  I needed a break.  My every thought was how to make myself stand out, to market my abilities, to sell ME.  But all the while, abiding by the hundreds of guidelines I have studied and memorized.  So a few shots in, I threw it all into the wind.  I decided that being the cookie cutter applicant wasn't working.  I had done EVERYTHING by the book. EVERYTHING. Well guess what, the BOOK fucking sucks!!!  So in my half inebriated state, I chose a posting for a job that sounded cool, one I knew I was totally capable of rocking at, and I proceeded to write a proposal straight from ME.  No guidelines, no rules. JUST JEN.  I'm not gonna lie, that proposal kicked some serious ASS!  It was even better the next morning when I read it sober! HA, yeah I am just fucking awesome.  Then I waited.  I didn't stop applying, or submitting resume's, but I was still waiting.  NOTHING.  WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!???  Why is it so hard to make people see how fucking awesome I am!?  I just didn't get it.

     So I forgot about it.  I kept trekking on.  I managed to get a couple more little jobs that gave me at least some pocket change.  But I was frustrated beyond all reason.   I started applying for anything and everything now.  I got hired.  I got hired at a call center, which was great, because I like call centers.  But I got hired making less than I was at my old job.  Whatever, at least it's something, I will just keep looking while I am at least making a paycheck.  Then I got hired again, at another call center, making 5 bucks more an hour than I was making at my old job.  Only thing is it was 25 miles away, and working nights again, which again, meant I would never see my kids.  But I am bad ass! I will get promoted quick, I will be able to get a better schedule, and this is just a bump in the road right? A bump that will lead to much better things.  Yes.  I took my drug test, turned in all paperwork, set to start in a week.  Monday. This is the start of new things for us.  I was excited! Of course that would be too easy.  Because why? Oh yeah, because you are Jen, and life is just not that easy!

     Saturday night, YEAH, SATURDAY NIGHT, who the fuck is working Saturday night??? But yes, Saturday before I started my new high paying job I got an email from the dude who saw my cocky ass, ego filled, drunk written proposal.  First he complimented my awesome writing. Of Course. HA! Then proceeded to tell me that he thought I was an excellent fit, however, he was worried that the fact that I was a "Rock Star" might mean that I would be over qualified, and that worried him, due to the fact that I would expect more from them than they could give me.  SIDENOTE: Part of my pitch was that I was NOT a customer service representative, I was a Customer Service ROCK STAR.  I wasn't sure what to say.  Do I try to convince him that I would be worth it in the long run and risk this great paying, albeit neglect my family, job.....or do I risk taking a slightly lowering paying job that meant being home, ALWAYS?  HAHAH!! Of course I take the risk! I wouldn't be me otherwise.

     So I have spent the last 4 months doing things I have never done.  The business that hired me, was not established.  Not even close.  They had a great business plan, they had enough money to pay me every week, and they had great ideas.  I have put in tons of hours, yet, I have also been allowed to make the schedule, allowing me to take my kids to and from school, attend school events, make doctors appointments, and pretty much everything else I need to do.  FUCK YES.  Until one of the 2 owners ran out of money.  Apparently things don't always go according to plan.  Profit was not being made, shit was just not working like it should.  But that's because I was being limited, not able to help in places that I was pretty sure I could.  Funny thing about running out of money, you get desperate.  They got desperate.  In 3 months since things should have been running right, we have managed to close a deal.  Yeah, that's right 1!  One deal has been closed.  But that was before the ROCK STAR took over.

     Total and utter desperation finally gave me the opportunity to shine.  I know you didn't forget, but I just need to say it again.....one deal in 3 months.  Jen took over 2 departments.  Customer Service was already in the bag, cuz that's just how I roll.  Human resources was a disaster, I fixed that.  But we can't make money without marketing. Marketing is the HEART of this business.  I took that over Monday.  Today is Sunday.  I have never marketed in my life.  Today is Sunday.  Yeah I know I said that already.  I learned marketing on Monday.  I closed my fifth deal today.  I closed my first on Friday. Saturday they made me partner.  They made me partner.  I repeat it because quite honestly it still hasn't sunk in.  I am part owner in a company that I am fully capable of running, and not just that, but making successful.  They made me partner.