Sunday, August 31, 2014

Too Old...



Too Old


There’s nothing worse than getting the chance to do something that you used to love, just to realize, not only is it not really fun anymore, but damnit……I’m too freaking old to go cruising! When did 12 year olds start driving? And how the hell do all these little kids have such nice ass cars??? I mean seriously! I looked really hot tonight, I was in a shitty mood, and I just wanted one or two guys to flirt with me while driving down the main “cruise” with 4 kids in the car. Is that so much to ask?! Geez. But only one guy even looked, he smiled, probably laughing, because he was the same age as my daughter!!! WTF!? That was a fail. Won’t do that again, well maybe, I mean, someone has to teach the girls the rules of cruising when they get older right?? Haha….wow, that even sounded sad to me.
So I just had to get that off my chest. I told you all about my kids in the last post, and guess I didn’t get the memo that the post was supposed to be short. Well I don’t really do short. Once I start talking, I tend to keep  talking…. for a long time. Just how I am. I like to talk. I don’t do well with secrets because I usually tell someone, then eventually everyone, to the point, well it’s not really a secret anymore. My secrets anyway. I’m good at keeping other people’s secrets. I’m good at listening too, which is weird, because I have to actually shut up to do that, but I do, when it matters. I love to give advice too. I give great advice. Which again is weird, because I can’t seem to take my own advice, which would be awesome, but it seems the best advice givers I know, have totally wacky lives, because they tend to have the same issue as I do. I can fix anyone else's life, just can’t seem to get mine in order.
Ok, now about my stats I guess. I’m a single mom of 5. Yes all those joys I told you about are my responsibility, and mine alone. I managed to meet, fall in love with, and breed, with 2 of the most pathetic losers around. Well, the first, daddy of the fist 4, wasn’t that pathetic when I met him. Weird, yes. But he took care of his responsibilities up until the point that I gave him 4 beautiful, healthy children….then he discovered the wonderful drug called Meth. Long story short, I left him, he swore to get his life straight to win us back, and has lived under a bridge, doing drugs, and who knows what else to get those drugs, ever since. Daddy number 2, sperm donor to the baby, was a lot of fun. But once responsibility hit, he turned out to be more worthless than even I could imagine possible. Not to mention he was having a lot more fun than I was, with half the skanks in Albuquerque, the ENTIRE four years we were together. So yeah….I have 5 amazing kids, that I don’t have to share with anyone, and this could be a good thing, or a really shitty thing, depending on how you look at it. I choose to look at it as a good thing, that way I don’t get suicidal on a daily.  Makes for a hard life indeed, but it’s the hand I’ve been dealt, and I like to win, so I do the best I can.
One more little fact I need to let you all know, just so you can get a better understanding of me, and hopefully enjoy this a little more, is that I was fat….my whole life. Then I had kids, and got fatter. Then…..I got divorced, and lost all kinds of weight, and became super hot. I guess being not so much your entire life, then suddenly being a sexy beast, makes your head swell, like a lot. So I’m totally full of myself, and not one bit ashamed of admitting it. I take advantage sometimes of what my looks can get me, but mostly just bask in the all the attention I so craved when I was younger. So if you think I come off as conceited every now and then, well, you’re right. Just thought I would throw that out there.
Gonna go drink me some rum, and watch a movie that the kids should probably not be watching, with the kids. Good night blogger world.

My novel of an introduction....... in full.

Jen's Full Introduction......


The majority of this post was already posted on our introduction page, however a large portion of it was cut off due to the fact that I didn't realize this was just supposed to be a short and sweet intro. So I am re-posting this in it's entirety just in case you were interested in the rest of my GINORMOUS introduction. Thank you for reading!




So the assignment tonight is to tell you 5 things about myself that you don’t already know. Well seeing as you know absolutely nothing about me, this could be really fun! Lets see……Number 1)I absolutely hate green bell peppers (and orange and yellow and red ones too, but green seems to be the most popular). 2) My favorite colors are pink, because I’m really girlie at times, and well, that just seems to be the most girlie color. Then green, for lots of reasons. Most people will say because of money, or pot…yeah I used to hang out with a lot of pot smoking dumbasses. But I don’t smoke weed, and aside from the fact that I have to have money to survive, I hate it. I love trees, and grass, and that creeping ivy that grows up old houses, and green gems, and green cars even. I just love green, I think because so many beautiful living things are green. 3) I have a brand new to me (1999) Toyota Camry, that got slammed into a month to the day after buying it about 3 months ago, that I absolutely freaking LOVE! 4) I tend to make friends with really weird people, that most people in my life don’t really like, and I’m constantly defending my friendships with, but I love these people and will do anything in my power to make sure that they are taken care of, regardless of what anyone else around me thinks of them, or me for that matter for being friends with them. 5) I fart….a lot, and I don’t really care that I’m a total girlie girl, and that girls aren’t supposed to do that.

            Ok now that we have gotten that out of the way……I guarantee that you don’t know anything about me because of those 5 things. So even though I technically did the assignment, I think you all in internet blog world deserve to know 5 things about me that might actually tell you a little bit about who really I am.

1.) For some reason, the first thing I always think of when I am describing myself is my kids. They are who I am. They are the biggest part of my life, and it just makes sense to start off with them. I am not going to tell you their real names, so I have come up with some clever nicknames for each of them, and will refer to them as such as we journey along. My oldest is a 15 year old girl. I love her, I adore her, I am so proud to be able to call her my daughter…..oh wait. No that was before she became a teenager. We will call her E.T. Not because she is from another planet, but because once she turned 13, she turned from the most sweet, lovable, adoring little girl, into a fire breathing, back talking, moody, smartass EVIL TEENAGER! Hence E.T. She started high school this year, which makes her just that much more evil, I mean really, when the hell did I get old enough to have a kid in high school!!??? Granted it’s not her fault, but shit, this is my blog, and I’m blaming her damnit! So that’s the first one….much more about her to come I promise, because this girl is gonna give me SO much material….I really should be paying her.

2.) Next in line is Martha Stewart. She will be 12 in a couple weeks, and I call her Martha Stewart because when it comes to doing ALL the things I never could (or frankly even wanted to do), this girl does it, enjoys it, and excels at it.”It” being ANY FREAKING THING she wants to do, from painting, to sewing, making sushi, cooking, cleaning, taking care of her siblings, you name it, this girl does it. If she doesn’t know how to do it, well give her an hour on YouTube and she will be better at it than anyone trying to teach you on the internet. She is absolutely amazing at pretty much any domestic duty you can imagine. Martha is creative, beautiful, and extremely humble about every bit of it. Not only that, but she has promised on several occasions that she will not turn evil when she becomes a teenager……..this is yet to be seen, as I have explained that this transformation is not always voluntary.

 3.) Link is 9, and up until a year ago, was my only boy. The only boy in a house full of girls has not made him the most macho of young men. He is very reliant on his sister’s for pretty much everything. The girls coddle him, and cater to his wishes and demands, but mostly because that’s the only way to get him to be quiet. Don’t get me wrong, he is very smart, smart enough to figure out how to do absolutely nothing for himself and get away with it. He is obsessed with video games, mainly The Legend of Zelda, and is constantly telling people he doesn’t know, that his name is Link. He hates school, and is just as lazy there as he is at home, but again, has perfected the art of making everyone do everything for him. He is also more stubborn than any person I have met, which means he gets a lot of stuff over on his teachers too, because he never caves….EVER! Teachers always cave eventually. This is how I know he isn’t dumb, or slow even. Just lazy, and puts all of his effort into being that way. He eventually wants to be a mechanic, which I can’t wait for, because I need a good mechanic!!

4.) Number 4 is my baby girl.  She’s only 8, and as of a year ago, not the baby anymore, but  I will never convince her of that.  I know she will be a cheerleader once she gets into high school, whether I support that decision or not, because she has that peppy, valley girl, upbeat cheery personality. She is my “popular” kid. She makes friends with everyone she encounters, (including stray animals, much to my dismay), she is so happy all the time, but yet she gets her feelings hurt really easily. She lights up any room she walks into, and always has a smile on her face. Because she was the baby for so long, she talks baby talk a lot, still requires lots and lots of mama snuggles, and is extremely disappointed that she no longer has her “baby skin.” She is very smart, loves school, is always the “teacher’s pet,? Doesn’t argue too much when you ask her to do chores, although conveniently forgets that you asked on a regular basis. She is a pretty typical 3rd grader. She is so full of love, and as loyal as they come. She will always be my “baby girl.”

5.) Now the baby. “Bubbas”, is and will probably always be his name. I was actually shocked when someone called him by his first name the other day and he responded. I’m not really sure who actually calls him that.

            Now according to ET, Bubba's completely ruined the dynamic of our family, and she has not held, talked to or really even acknowledged him since he was born, which was a year ago, in case you didn’t catch that the two previous times I have mentioned it. She is not fond of his dad, ok so fond is way too weak of a word, but you get the point. He was a woops baby, and she hasn’t gotten over that, or the fact that, more than likely I will not be getting back together with her dad.

            So yeah, he has a different “baby daddy” who is in his life I guess technically. Meaning he sees him about once a week when Bubba's auntie watches him on Sunday’s and takes him up to see his Gamma Gamma and his dad, who yes, lives with his Mama. But “daddy” got fired from his job shortly after I left his worthless cheating ass, and just before I could get the child support order filed. Hence…..the worthless part.

            He is an absolutely amazing little boy. I cried when I found out I was pregnant because I had just gotten the other 4 to be self sufficient, and found out I get to start all over again. However, I wouldn’t give him back for a million bucks! Ten million………………well we would have to at least work out some sort of visitation.



So those are my 5 things…….I actually have 2 more “step” things, that I will give lots more detail about later, but I’m sure I’m over my limit as to how long this “quick” introduction was supposed to be, but you can’t just describe your kids in 40 words or less, so yeah. I will try to make the next post shorter….oh who am I kidding?! If you want to read my blog, just be prepared for a short novel most of the time.

Thank you to all who took the time to read this. I have never actually done this before and I am looking forward to a fun ride! I can’t wait to be a part of the traveling Chucks, and quite honestly get to know the other “don’t give a chuckers.” Thank you Eri for giving me this opportunity, and I anxiously await our next posting. This is gonna be fun, and hey, I love to talk about myself, so if you actually want to read about me, even better!!!

Friday, August 29, 2014

Allow me to introduce myself

Welcome Friends and Family to the first post here at We Don't Give a Chuck.  Some of you have followed over from the writers' other blogs and we'd like to thank you for making the journey with us.  Some of you are new and we're happy to introduce ourselves (in a minute, y'all, I swear).  But first, I'd like to tell you how this whole shebang came about.

I was going through a rough divorce, the details of which are not important, and I desperately needed only my closest friends around me.  There were a small handful of males.  But something unexpected happened as I gathered these 20 or so girls (and guys) around me.  We all started leaning in on each other, checking in on each other, rooting for each other, lifting each other up.  Somehow, what had started as me needing only the truest of the true, the closest of the close, the most loyal of the loyal, had turned us into this little family.  All my friends started friending each other, calling each other Sistah (with a Boston accent!) and I truly believe everyone's life became a little brighter.  So I got to thinking about how badly I wanted to scrap my old blog which showcased just how good I was at covering up how miserable I was in my marriage, and start fresh, somewhere where I could be 100% truly me; awkward, funny, smart, flawed, sweet, empathetic, anxious and a little crazy.  But then I got to thinking even more about how I had this sistah-hood of all these women from all these different situations in life.  We've got married moms and single moms,  younger moms and older moms, moms of big families and moms of only children.  I started to think maybe my awesome, empowered Sistah-hood could make a difference to women everywhere if we had a voice.  So here we are.  Right now we have three writers committed to writing (introductions below).  We hope you find something you need here. 

Since it's Friday we thought we would do our introductions in a loose sort of Friday Five style and let everyone get to know everyone else.  So I'll start.

I'm Erica, aka Eri, aka Sunshine.
1.  I have two boys.  A big kid who is 10 and a 3 year old who is built tough like a hockey enforcer.
2.  I'm in a long distance relationship with a man from Boston, often referred to as "J" or simply "Boston".
3.  I believe Chuck Taylors are God's gift to the world.  Our blogger address isn't just funny, it's dead serious, too.  I don't  give a Chuck.  In fact if I catch you touching my Chucks, you're goin to lose a hand.
4.  I'm going back to school to become a medical assistant.
5. I talk (and type) with a hybrid Midwestern/Boston accent.  I blame it on the hundreds of hours J and I have spent on the telephone.  Even my boys do it now.

Carrie, aka CareBear, aka Carrie BoBeary writes this:
1. I have 4 wonderful boys that I adore.
2. WYSIWYG- What You See Is What You Get3. My interests are so varied that not even I can keep up.4. I am a Social Worker in training.5. I am honest and loyal sometimes to a fault but I am always authentic.


Jen says this about herself and her family:

So the assignment tonight is to tell you 5 things about myself that you don’t already know. Well 
seeing as you know absolutely nothing about me, this could be really fun! Lets see......
Number 1)I absolutely hate green bell peppers (and orange and yellow and red ones too, but green seems to be the most popular). 
2) My favorite colors are pink, because I’m really girlie at times, and well, that just seems 
to be the most girlie color. Then green, for lots of reasons. Most people will say because of money, or pot...yeah I used to hang out with a lot of pot smoking dumbasses. But I don’t smoke weed, and aside from the fact that I have to have money to survive, I hate it. I love trees, and grass, and that creeping ivy that grows up old houses, and green gems, and green cars even. I just love green, I think because so many beautiful living things are green. 
3) I have a brand new to me (1999) Toyota Camry, that got slammed into a month to the day after buying it about 3 months ago, that I absolutely freaking LOVE! 
4) I tend to make friends with really weird people, that most people in my life don’t really like, and I’m constantly defending my friendships with, but I love these people and will do anything in my power to make sure that they are taken care of, regardless of what anyone else around me thinks of them, or me for that matter for being friends with them. 
5) I fart....a lot, and I don’t really care that I’m a total girlie girl, and that girls aren’t supposed to do that.

Ok now that we have gotten that out of the way......I guarantee that you don’t know anything 
about me because of those 5 things. So even though I technically did the assignment, I think you all in internet blog world deserve to know 5 things about me that might actually tell you a little bit about who really I am.

1.) For some reason, the first thing I always think of when I am describing myself is my kids. They are who I am. They are the biggest part of my life, and it just makes sense to start off with them. I am not going to tell you their real names, so I have come up with some clever nicknames for each of them, and will refer to them as such as we journey along. My oldest is a 15 year old girl. I love her, I adore her, I am so proud to be able to call her my daughter.....oh wait. No that was before she became a teenager. We will call her E.T. Not because she is from another planet, but because once she turned 13, she turned from the most sweet, lovable, adoring little girl, into a fire breathing, back talking, moody, smartass EVIL TEENAGER! Hence E.T. She started high school this year, which makes her just that much more evil, I mean really, when the hell did I get old enough to have a kid in high school!!??? Granted it’s not her fault, but shit, this is my blog, and I’m blaming her damnit! So that’s the first one....much more about her to come I promise, because this girl is gonna give me SO much material....I really should be paying her.

2.) Next in line is Martha Stewart. She will be 12 in a couple weeks, and I call her Martha Stewart 
because when it comes to doing ALL the things I never could (or frankly even wanted to do), this girl does it, enjoys it, and excels at it.”It” being ANY FREAKING THING she wants to do, from painting, to sewing, making sushi, cooking, cleaning, taking care of her siblings, you name it, this girl does it. If she doesn’t know how to do it, well give her an hour on YouTube and she will be better at it than anyone trying to teach you on the internet. She is absolutely amazing at pretty much any domestic duty you can imagine. Martha is creative, beautiful, and extremely humble about every bit of it. Not only that, but she has promised on several occasions that she will not turn evil when she becomes a teenager........this is 
yet to be seen, as I have explained that this transformation is not always voluntary.

 3.) Link is 9, and up until a year ago, was my only boy. The only boy in a house full of girls has not made him the most macho of young men. He is very reliant on his sister’s for pretty much everything. The girls coddle him, and cater to his wishes and demands, but mostly because that’s the only way to get him to be quiet. Don’t get me wrong, he is very smart,